Humour - page 190

 
- Daddy, are you going to grow up yet?
- No, son.
- Why are you eating then?
 
moskitman:
- Daddy, are you going to grow up yet?
- No, son.
- Why are you eating then?
What for? When it's time to shit-
and if you haven't eaten, there won't be anything to shit.
 
Why isn't Sergei being taken on a fishing trip?

Seryozha, a big, big, big, big man, accused his beautiful and clever wife Lenochka of being a pussy and went to his mother's house.
Meanwhile a group of five people in two cars were passing Seryozha's house on a fishing trip.
When they saw Seryozha, they offered to go with them (they all knew each other from childhood). Seryozha decided to go in his car.
Having arrived at the place the company of 5+1 (Serezha) drank themselves to death, had a swim, and passed out.

At night Serezha woke up, and in his alcohol-impaired mind he thought.
"Lenka is there alone, we should check if she's with her lover!"

Failing to find the keys and clothes in the dark, Seryozha went home in his pants and on foot.
By morning 20 km were over and Seryozha arrived home (the neighbourhood is on the very outskirts of the city).
Lenka opened the door and went back to sleep. Suffering from a hangover, Seryozha got dressed and went to drink beer and buy cigarettes.

In the meantime the fishermen woke up. Seryozha was not among them... there was a car, clothes, shoes. And Seryozha was gone.
The last thing everyone remembered was swimming.
"Drowned!" - the friends decided and started looking for Seryozha's body.

Two were sent to report the terrible news to his wife, Lenochka.
When the black messengers arrived Lenochka had already got up and was about to go to the shop.
On entering the flat Sasha did not beat around the bush but directly told Lenochka that Sergei tragically died.
Lenochka, who had seen her beloved two hours ago, thought he had just been hit by a car and fainted.

"What are you standing there for? Run to the ambulance," Sasha shouted to Yura and dragged Lenochka to the sofa.
(The ambulance is on the ground floor in the same house - easier to reach than to call).
Yura ran up the stairs as the lift was busy. It was Seryozha who was on his way home.

Meanwhile Sasha dragged Lenochka to the sofa, decided to give her artificial respiration...
Something had to be done.
He tore off her blouse and did it the best he could!
Then a well-drunk Seryozha came into the flat.

The ambulance came in handy for everybody. We don't take Seryozha fishing anymore.
 

xxx:
I work in a large shop. A senior cashier has asked me to install the "Bag Transmitter Preparation and Printing Program" that they have been soaped up. I open the attached archive, and there PreVed.exe, PreVed.dat, PreVed.rtf etc. So, full preVed!

 
- Why late?
- Hit the corner of the pillow and passed out for two hours.
 
 
PapaYozh:

Stupid and crooked. As a forum member, I have the right in the branch to IMHO.

 
Roman.:

Stupid and crooked. As a forum member, I have the right to IMHO in the branch.

You can kill, Matemat allowed :)
 
PapaYozh:
You can kill, Matemat allowed :)

А! :-)

In this context - Yes, no questions asked! :-)

P.S. I tend to eat afterwards as well... :-)

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On the subject of the joke, my point is that it is (mildly): not one to be laughed at.

Reason: