Humour - page 91
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We have a longer one for admins. 11111111
Actually the transport password for employees
We have a longer one for admins. 11111111
Actually the transport password for employees
There, the secret of the firm is out :)))
I'm studying at the Faculty of Philology, in the Master's programme. this year they have introduced a new subject - IT-technology in philology. a literary critic teaches it. we study in class without computers. we are parsing stories into functions and algorithms. today when I wrote in formula form Lisa - event - cause (hunger) - found a jug of food - success (ate it) - problem - event (head stuck) - experience - event - death, I wanted to kill myself on the wall. =(
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xxx:
I had an acquaintance here recently "robbed" by scaffolding, climbed through an open 5th floor loggia window, smashed a plastic balcony door, turned over everything in the flat and stole a turtle from an aquarium.
xxx:
Greenpeace, fuck...
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A rich person can be in several places at the same time. Like a sanitarium and a federal wanted man.
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Honey, let's make a deal: I say THIS is delicious and you don't
xxx: You don't ever cook that again.
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- Daddy, why did my teacher tell me that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree?
- Did you pinch her ass too?
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and someone actually saves a bag like this -
and then washes it in the machine in one go.
In that sense, someone who sees humor in a picture
is definitely hard-working and always has something to do.
At missile force headquarters:
- Today the order for a 10% reduction in staffing came in. Is that clear?
- Yes...
- Now for the details: I think we should start with Texas, Florida, Alabama...
They cried as they parted... They couldn't let go of each other for a long time... He was away on a business trip for 10 days and she was visiting her mother... The reunion was even more stormy... 24 hours later... on the beach... in Egypt... Yeah... Fate's a bitch!
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A young father calls the paediatrician in a panic:
- Doctor, what should I do? His three-year-old daughter has drunk the green stuff!
- Well, what does the baby look like now, what's he doing?
- What's she doing... Smiling with green lips, sticking her green tongue through green teeth... Doctor, what do I do?!
There's a doctor laughing on the phone:
- Take a picture!
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The announcement: "For a small fee I'll ride up to your door on a white horse and in a prince's costume, I'll tell the grannies at the doorway that I'm after you... ".
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I went to the doctor's practice for an x-ray, got it all done, went outside and was in a hurry to get on with my business. I was 200 metres away and saw disposable shoe covers lying on the pavement. My first thought was: "Look, somebody forgot to take them off and I was walking like an idiot.
Then I stopped, looked down... I thought, took off my shoe covers...
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Family conversation.
- You were drunk last night.
- Mm-hmm. I can feel it clearly today. Is there going to be a scandal?
- There won't be. Yesterday it was.
- Yeah? (chuckles) Tell me briefly, because I don't really remember.
- I told you about the drinking culture in pretty harsh terms.
- Yeah? What about me?
- And you were smoking, listening in silence, and then you say: "Honey, I'm married for the second time, and judging by your manner of speaking, I feel - not the last... "
- Hee-hee-hee. What about you?
- What about me? Shut up...
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Egypt. At the office where the tours to the pyramids are formed, there's a notice printed in Russian on the information board: "No climbing the pyramids."
Below it is handwritten: "Do not feed the sphinxes".
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The art of an executive is to find someone to do his job for him; the art of an executive is to find someone to blame for a job not done.
The ultimate art of a manager is to be rewarded for both.
The speed of response to an event is amazing