[Archive c 17.03.2008] Humour [Archive to 28.04.2012] - page 632
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Month one. Hello.
What a horror - there are only men around! I'm alone and there are ten of them (and some of them are cute)! It is possible to be mad: the skirt it is better not to put on (it is the same as naked), anybody about anything to ask (or else around you will be a crowd of barking men), you cannot go to piss (before a cardboard door to a toilet always there is a group of smoking employees (and among them, certainly, all good-looking)). Everyone is working hard, staring at the monitor like crazy. With the girlfriend you can not talk all the guys talk on the phone no longer than 5 minutes and only on work, on a site with pantyhose not get, and Jennifer Lopez not to discuss. It's crazy!
Month two. Well, nothing seems to be happening.
You can go pee next door (there is a separate women's restroom), on the site with pantyhose can sit if you make a face brick. Jennifer Lopez is not cool, Anita Blond is. All talk of winter tires, motor oil and computer brains, my Peugeot 206 causes them contemptuous cramps. Everyone is much calmer to my requests, there are fewer and fewer good-looking men every day.
Month three. It's okay to live.
Anita Blond is a German broad with number 10 breasts, Jennifer Lopez really doesn't roll against her. Studded tyre sucks, no one drives it now, best oil is synthetic, pantyhose website approved, girlfriend is shown and approved too. Skirt approved, number of handsome men reduced to one. Men at the loo evaporate after the phrase: boys, I have to pee, the phrase on the phone "I'm on another level" refers to a network shooter, not hard work.
Month six. All their own.
Swapped a Peugeot for a nine, no shit driving a junk car, Lopez has a fat ass - not rolling, yesterday with the men did the logistics department at Doom with them a case of beer. Ordered on a hooker website advising her boys how to tell the difference between native boobs and silicone. All right, men, I'm gonna take a piss. Not one good-looking face, I'm gonna change jobs!
One year. Bros.
Changed the computer brains, did the men at the brolly, drank too much of the sysadmin on Friday. Yesterday, a new girl came in with a nice, tight ass. She's embarrassed to go to the bathroom and sit on women's websites. Rookie. / message --> sig -->
Iranian swimming costumes and the Bird Choir
"The king went off to war, left his daughter with a faithful servant and ordered him to comply with all her requests, threatening to cut off his head if he did so. Night falls. The Princess calls her servant to her bedroom. The servant enters.
The Princess is naked on the bed:
- I am cold!
The servant finds a blanket in the bedroom, covers her and leaves. The next night is the same situation, but the bedspread is not in the bedroom. The servant pulls the curtains down from the windows and covers the princess. On the third night there are no curtains either, so the servant takes off his clothes and covers the princess.
And then the war ends and the king returns.
- Well, report, servant, how did you perform your duties?
- I fulfilled all the princess's wishes.
- And what do you say, daughter?
- He hasn't fulfilled any of my wishes!
- Then get ready, servant, tomorrow morning the executioner will cut off your head.
The bewildered servant went to the sage, told the story, and asked him to explain why the princess had given such an answer. The wise man pointed to the haystack: "Do you see that haystack? Go and eat it! - Why? - Because you're a donkey!"
The companions laughed at the foolish servant. It's time for the woman to get out. The man helps her carry out the heavy bags and suitcases. On the platform she hands him a few notes.
The man:
- I was only helping out for no reason!
- No, you misunderstand me! This is for the hay.
excited, tears off the wrapping paper, and there's a silver case, matching the SVD.
- Wow! Well, men! Nice!
- Bullshit, you open it!
He opens it - a super-fancy rifle, laser, telescopic sights, titanium ammunition, with all the gadgets.
- Well, friends! We knew what to give the old man! Whoo!
- Come on, you get the rifle.
He picks it up - there's an order for a lemon. Photos, information, all the right stuff.
- Yeah! I can't thank you enough!
- There's more!
They go down to the basement, turn on the light, there's a man sitting on a chair, tied up, his mouth taped shut. Well, the birthday boy's eyes are already burning, he's for a new rifle...
- Wait, take the tape off.
He takes off the tape. Man in a pitiful voice:
- Happy birthday to you!
A hummer and keyboard for a blonde
A hummer for a blonde and a keyboard for a blonde
I gave a keyboard like this to an acquaintance.
offended(( strange...))
I gave a keyboard like that to an acquaintance
She took offence(( (strange...)))
I should have given him a Hummer.)