Traders joking, the beginning - page 335

 
It’s rumored that Sandra Bullock will end up making $70 million from the movie “Gravity.” "That's great!” said the real astronauts making $59,000 a year.
 
A new study says going vegetarian is the best way to lower high blood pressure. Pretty much every study says vegetarians live longer. But that's just because meat eaters’ lives get shortened from being harassed by angry vegetarians.
 

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I am rolling on the floor...can't stop laughing!...please help me! Obama told Putin he has violated international law: White House

 
Big news out of NASA — the Kepler space telescope has discovered 715 new planets. Either that or somebody sneezed on the lens.
 
The very first Academy Awards ceremony lasted 15 minutes. And thanks to the fast-forward button on my DVR, so will this year's.
 

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BREAKING NEWS:

- Kerry: RUSSIAN THREATS ARE 'UNACCEPTABLE'.

- Putin: A TALKING HORSE...WHAT IS THIS? NARNIA?

- Obama: THE US WILL NOT PUT UP WITH SUCH RHETORIC ABOUT ONE OF ITS OFFICIALS!

- Putin: OH THE MONKEY TALKS TOO?

 
Boeing, the airplane manufacturer, is working on a new smartphone that will self-destruct if it's tampered with. While Apple has a smartphone that will self-destruct if you spill water on it, drop it, tap it too hard, forget to update it, or just kind of look at it the wrong way.
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