Humour - page 232
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- Welcome to paradise, Mr President. Only, unfortunately, before I put you here, I have to tell you that there's just one little problem to be solved. You see, it is very rare for a politician of such high rank to go to heaven, and to tell you the truth, we don't even know what to do with you. So we have decided that you will spend one day in hell and one in heaven so that you can freely decide where to spend your eternity.
The apostle then escorts the newcomer to a lift, in which the former president descends into hell. The lift doors open, Putin steps out and sees a bright green golf course all around him. In the distance he spots a luxurious clubhouse. His politician friends, with whom he used to work, run towards him, hugging him joyfully, remembering the good old days when they all got rich together at the expense of the Russian people. They play a round of golf and then go to the club together for dinner with black caviar, lobster and other goodies. They also had dinner with Satan himself, who in reality turned out to be a very likeable, amiable and fun-loving man. Putin had so much fun that he didn't even notice that it was time to leave. Everyone came up to him, shaking his hands fervently. Putin was very touched, and he felt sad. But then, the lift doors close and it brings Putin up again to the gates of paradise, where he is met by the Apostle Peter. For the next 24 hours, Putin spends his time as he jumps from cloud to cloud, plays the harp, prays and sings. The day is long and tedious, but finally it ends. The Apostle Peter appears and asks:
- Mr President, you have spent one day in hell and one in heaven, now you can decide democratically where to spend the rest of eternity.
Putin thought for a while, scratched his bald head and said:
- Well, what can I say, heaven is certainly a very beautiful place, but I think I liked it better in hell.
The apostle Peter, shrugging his shoulders, escorts him to the lift again. When the lift went down and the doors opened, Putin saw... a huge desert covered with rubbish, and all his friends, dressed in work overalls, were collecting this rubbish and packing it into black plastic bags. Satan walks up to him and puts one arm around his neck to greet him.
- I don't understand" Putin babbles, "excuse me, yesterday there was a golf course and a club where we had dinner with black caviar and lobsters and anyway we had such a great time here yesterday... Now there is only this desert littered with rubbish and my friends seem to be the last losers...
Satan looks at him, smiles and says:
- My friend, yesterday we had a campaign. And today you have already voted for us...
Putin dies and finds himself at the gates of Paradise, where he is greeted by the Apostle Peter with the words:
- Welcome to Paradise, Mr President. Only, unfortunately, before I put you here, I have to tell you that there's just one little problem to be solved. You see, it is very rare for a politician of such high rank to go to heaven, and to tell you the truth, we don't even know what to do with you. So we have decided that you will spend one day in hell and one in heaven so that you can freely decide where to spend your eternity.
The apostle then escorts the newcomer to a lift, in which the former president descends into hell. The lift doors open, Putin steps out and sees a bright green golf course all around him. In the distance he spots a luxurious clubhouse. His politician friends, with whom he used to work, run towards him, hugging him cheerfully, remembering the good old days when they all got rich together at the expense of the Russian people. They play a round of golf and then go to the club together for dinner with black caviar, lobster and other goodies. They also had dinner with Satan himself, who in reality turned out to be a very likeable, amiable and fun-loving man. Putin had so much fun that he didn't even notice that it was time to leave. Everyone came up to him, shaking his hands fervently. Putin was very touched, and he felt sad. But then, the lift doors close and it brings Putin up again to the gates of paradise, where he is met by the Apostle Peter. For the next 24 hours, Putin spends his time as he jumps from cloud to cloud, plays the harp, prays and sings. The day is long and tedious, but finally it ends. The Apostle Peter appears and asks:
- Mr President, you have spent one day in hell and one in heaven, now you can decide democratically where to spend the rest of eternity.
Putin thought for a while, scratched his bald head and said:
- Well, what can I say, heaven is certainly a very beautiful place, but I think I liked it better in hell.
The apostle Peter, shrugging his shoulders, escorts him to the lift again. When the lift went down and the doors opened, Putin saw... a huge desert covered with rubbish, and all his friends, dressed in work overalls, were picking up this rubbish and packing it into black plastic bags. Satan walks up to him and puts one arm around his neck to greet him.
- I don't understand" Putin babbles, "excuse me, yesterday there was a golf course and a club where we had dinner with black caviar and lobsters and anyway we had such a great time here yesterday... Now there is only this desert littered with rubbish and my friends seem to be the last losers...
Satan looks at him, smiles and says:
- My friend, yesterday we had a campaign. And today you have already voted for us...
Fuck, they bribed and greased them to soften the punishment. They're sitting in boiling shit up to their nostrils for all eternity...
I'm fucked up(((( and here you come down to politicking... better watch a funny video and moderate your anger.
>They say don't open the green with your teeth. I'll tell you what, don't fucking touch it at all.
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They say strength, dexterity, but try lifting the optical mouse so the cursor doesn't move.
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I found a new contact "FREE SEX" on my husband's mobile and immediately, in a fit of jealousy, decided to check it out by dialing the number...
I was beyond surprised when my own phone rang! From Gad....
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Science is a great thing. If scientists hadn't invented the laser, what would we be doing chasing cats on long winter evenings?
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A bearish gap and a merged trader
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How much does an EA like this cost?
It's manual trading....:-)))