[Archive c 17.03.2008] Humour [Archive to 28.04.2012] - page 738
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They say the Russian language is more logical. Try explaining to a Frenchman why a glass is on the table, a fork is lying down and a bird is sitting on a tree.
I immediately worked out a theory with the glass and the fork: what is vertical rather than horizontal is standing, and what is horizontal rather than vertical is lying. My theory immediately crashed on the plate - it's more horizontal than vertical, but it stands. If you flip it over, though, it's lying down. Immediately, another theory is deduced on the fly: the plate stands because it has a base, it stands on a base. The theory is immediately smashed to smithereens - it has no base, but it still stands. It's a miracle. Although, if you stick it in the sink, it will lie there, taking a more upright position than on the table. Hence the conclusion that everything that is ready for use is standing. (At this point I want to say vulgarity.)
But let's take another object - an ordinary children's ball. It is neither horizontal nor vertical, yet it is completely ready for use. Who is to say that there, in the corner, is a ball standing there? If the ball is not acting as a puppet and it is not being punished, it is still lying there. And even if it is moved to the table, it will also (oh wonder!) lie on the table. Let's complicate the task - put the ball in a plate, and the plate in a pan. Now the ball is still lying (in the plate), the pan is still standing (on the table), the question is, what is the plate doing?
If a Frenchman listens to the end of the explanation, that's it, his world will never be the same again. He's got plates and pans that can stand and pans that can lie down - the world has come alive. The only thing left to add is that the birds are sitting there. On a branch, on a windowsill and even on the pavement. A Frenchman imagines a tit sitting on a branch on its heel and waving its legs in the air, or a homeless crow sitting with its legs outstretched and its wings spread near a metro station. "Russians - you're crazy!" - a Frenchman will say and throw a textbook at you.
News source © ibigdan_livejournal
Who is to say that there, in the corner, is a ball standing there? If the ball is not acting as a puppet and is not being punished, it is still lying there. And even if it is moved to the table, it will also (oh wonder!) lie on the table. Let's complicate the task - put the ball in a plate, and the plate in a pan. Now the ball is still lying (in the plate), the pan is still standing (on the table), the question is, what is the plate doing?
The ball is exposed (standing) on the 11-metre mark.