[Archive c 17.03.2008] Humour [Archive to 28.04.2012] - page 393

 

Friday!!!


 
It's an old topic, though I think it's going to be relevant.

Found a verse on the February St Petersburg news where:

2 февраля Валентина Матвиенко на заседании в Смольном произнесла: «В XXI веке сбивать сосули ломами — это уже, извините меня, каменный век… Надо найти другой способ. Так, чтобы можно было срезать лазером, горячим паром».

Cutting down icicles with a laser,
# Snowflakes digging into my face #
Will I ever make it to the bus stop,
without drowning my boots in the snow?

There is a plate waiting for me at home,
A bowl of buckwheat and white marshmallow;
In my feet there's a rubber warmth,
And soft slippers under my chair.

In the iron bath there are two herrings,
There's a bed and fork sticking out of it.
There's a shot glass and a bottle of water,
That completes my meal.

I'll put the brews in the lace,
I'll open up Shevchenko's Kobzar.
A poet of Petrarch's calibre.

And Valentina Matviena.

===

I laughed my ass off. Clearly written by a linguist. It's a play on retro and pseudo suffixes. (chuckles) Okay. That's my thing. )))

 

I want to tell a jealous story that made me a cool comedian for a few years in a particular school.

It was in USSR, 4th grade in a comprehensive school. We had a teacher who taught drawing and singing. Her nickname was, Anna Pavlovna . There was Anna Pavlovna's choir at school. All its members had automatic "A" in drawing and singing. I was in it. Somehow, Anna Pavlovna was ill, it was the whole third quarter. We got a former ballet dancer to teach us. In the last lesson of the quarter, the devil summoned me to the blackboard. He didn't know that everyone in Anna Pavlovna's choir got straight A's in singing and drawing. He would have given me an "A" and, no problem... But, since I didn't have a single grade for the whole quarter (I had been fighting a "sea battle" all lesson), he decided, on his head, to call me to the blackboard to give me the only grade for the quarter.

He calls me to the blackboard and suggests: "Draw me a gamma in C major." I know what he wanted now, but at the time I wasn't expecting it. I come out, I look intently at all the A's going to solfeggio and sitting in the front rows No one is ready to help me. I take the initiative. It's kind of easy. I know my Russian. The first word is "Gamma", the second seems to be "at home", leaving only the word "jor". I'm drawing it all on the board. Done!

It would have ended OK, but the balerunner took me to the principal, the principal's nickname, Viktor Stepanovich. Viktor Stepanovich, a retired colonel, didn't know what "gamma in C major" meant either, so my version seemed more convincing to him.

The result was an F in the quarter in singing. The balerun didn't show up for work after the holidays. I had a promotion waiting for me - chairman of the squad council, hardly anyone knows what that is now.

 
Svinozavr:
It's an old topic, though I think it's going to be relevant.

Found a verse on the February St Petersburg news where:

Laser cut icicles,
# Snowflakes digging into my face #
Will I ever make it to the bus stop,
"without drowning my boots in the snow?

There is a plate waiting for me at home,
A bowl of buckwheat and white boola;
In my feet there's a rubber warmth,
And soft slippers under my chair.

In the iron bath there are two herrings,
There's a bed and fork sticking out of it.
There's a shot glass and a bottle of water,
That completes my meal.

I'll put the brews in the lace,
I'll open up Shevchenko's Kobzar.
A poet of Petrarch's calibre.

And Valentina Matviena.

===

I laughed my ass off. Clearly written by a linguist. It's a play on retro and pseudo suffixes. (chuckles) Okay. That's my thing. )))


Remember Ivanov was an impersonator, it even sounds like his style
 
Svinozavr:
.....
It's funny. The funny thing is that no non-Russian speakers would understand. But the Russian-speakers do, and they get a... hmm... enjoy savoring the pronunciation and semantic combinations.
 
 

================

"DeNghi dawa-ay!"

 
Svinozavr:
The topic is old, although, I think, will be relevant.

..... ...

And Valentina Matviena.

===

)))

Valentina Matvienko is a real giter.

In fact, speaking in such "kind of new jargon", people of this kind of officials just want to emphasize once again that they are the "biggest bosses" here, unlike the "people" gathered around.

Arrogant public officials want each of their phrases to look important and meaningful(an icicle! - not an icicle)! They do not notice that they look stupid and unsightly themselves.

Until now in the press and in the Internet is played silly phrase of Matvienko: "All children up to 14 years old are subject to summer holidays... "

 


"Bureaucracy periodically harasses business" (about pressure on business by law enforcement agencies and officials)
According to the expert, the word "nightmare" comes from criminal jargon, where one of the meanings of the word is to intimidate.

"Russia is a country of legal nihilism" (about a spirit of disregard for the law)
The expert notes the succinctness and clarity of the phrase, adding that before Medvedev no one would have dared to say so.

"There's no honey on the table in other countries either, and you have to work hard everywhere!" (on his attitude to emigration from Russia)
In Gorbanevsky's opinion, the phrase is not a good one. He believes that here Medvedev relied on a well-known proverb with a negative characteristic: "They fly like flies on honey.

"The Georgian leadership has gone crazy" (on the August events in Tskhinvali).
Here, according to the Professor, the President used a phrase close to the idiom "went crazy" (mad) from youth slang.

 
IgorM:


"There's nothing like honey in other countries, and you have to work hard everywhere!" (about his attitude to emigration from Russia)
According to Gorbanevsky, the word combination is not very successful. Gorbanev believes that in this case Medvedev was basing himself on a well-known proverb with a negative characteristic: "They're flying like flies on honey.

The expert is unimpressive. There is a catch phrase - "What's in it for you, honey?" - expressing surprise at the attraction of anything. It was exactly the phrase Medvedev was picking up on.

On the other hand, it does not suit the lawyer from St. Petersburg, and it sounds a bit artificial.

Reason: