[Archive c 17.03.2008] Humour [Archive to 28.04.2012] - page 586
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How would you download it to make it work offline? And by the way, has anyone by any chance seen this game with other floor grids?
There download link - http://70.85.186.86/albino_flash001/bloxorz(www.albinoblacksheep.com).swf - doesn't work. Machine 70.85.186.86 - not pinged.
I pulled this from the opera cache.
ran it in IE 8 - it's OK, it works.
Ten years on the market!
Help me find a way out...
It's not true that Kutuzov didn't have an eye..... He had an eye.
A man comes to the doctor and says:
- Doctor, how am I doing? How are the tests? Stool?
- Yes, my dear fellow, I can't give you any good news. The labs are bad. And the stool is shit!
Russia is a great country. Its army is feared by all. Especially those between 18 and 27.
There's a seminar going on.
The stern lecturer looks at the audience and says:
- So, who shall we start with? I think I'll start with Lena Z.
There's a smart guy whispering softly:
- Yeah, we've almost all started with her...
The seminar is disrupted.
Two traders talking:
- Hi, how are you?
- Pretty good. I had a big fight with my girlfriend yesterday.
- Oh, why? Wasn't it a love affair?
- But I closed a losing position!
My colleague is sitting there, his face all gloomy...
I said:
- What are you doing?
The answer:
- Reading jokes...
I pulled this from the opera cache.
I ran it in IE 8 - everything's OK, it works.
Thank you very much. I downloaded it. If you run this offline version in a browser, it's a bit slow. I used the player I attached to this post to run it - it just flies when you don't resize the opened window. The player is designed to play swf files
Testing out Google's voice search. After playing with it myself, I gave it to the cat next to me. The cat took advantage of the moment and hummed the FreeBSD manual.
A husband and wife have invented an interesting game: They call it "who's who"...
The gist of the game is that they agreed: the husband doesn't shave until his wife cuts his hair, the wife doesn't cut her hair until he takes her to the movies, he doesn't take her to the movies until she sews his trousers, and the wife sews his trousers until the husband stops drinking beer, he in turn stops eating beer until his wife gives him one. And the funny thing is that the wife doesn't want to give her husband (unshaven and unshaven with excessive alcohol) until he shaves and stops drinking...
So he was unshaven, drunk, had not had sex for two weeks when his wife was alive, but he had principles...
***
Law of life: No matter what neighbourhood you live in, a neighbour with a punching machine will track you down and settle next door...
***
Crow once got 3,000 quid from God.
The bird climbed up the tree, counted the currency.
♪ and he was counting the currency, but he thought... ♪
And when she was holding the briefcase in her mouth.
♪ the fox drove by in his Mercedes... ♪
The fox sees the case, the fox is captivated by the case...
The rascal walks to the tree,
...all fingers fanning out and staring at the case,
♪ And she says, twirling the keys with her hand ♪
* like I'm a producer and everything *
♪ we're opening Factory 7... ♪
♪ We're casting talented singers... ♪
And you've got a nice outfit and you're a hit...
♪ I swear by my mama you're gonna sing it cool... ♪
♪ the crow came out of the crow's mouth ♪
♪ and the crow cawed in the crow's throat... ♪
# The case opened up and the cabbage fell out... #
...and then under the tree was empty...
***
- Can you believe it, my neighbour was up all night last night learning to walk through a wall.
- Is he stupid?
- He is now!
***
There's an exam for the Institute of Literature.
- Young man, read me something by Pushkin, for example from "Eugene Onegin".
- My uncle is the rector of the Institute...
- Thank you very much, that's enough, you're admitted.
***
One therapist is 1024 gigas, or 1048576 mega therapists
***
Police haven't been able to catch the director of a Vaseline factory in the act for two years.
***
- Hey, what's your cocktail recommendation today?
- Today's cocktail of the day is "Maximum Three"!
- What's that?
- Well, look... we take one glass of wine... a second... maximum three, and pour it into the pot. Then you take one glass of beer... two... three at the most, and pour it in. Then you take one shot of vodka... a second... three at the most, pour it into the pot. And finally, we take one glass of cognac, a second... a third at the most, pour it in, warm it up a bit. Then we drink one glass of cocktail... two... three at the most. Then we get up and take a step, two, three at the most...
It's a cliché, but in case anyone hasn't seen it.