Traders joking, the beginning - page 501

 
If you're too hard on your kids, they grow up with no self-confidence, but if you praise them too much, they grow up to be narcissists. What do these little monsters want from us?
 

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President Obama's trying to work out a nuclear deal with Iran, and the Republicans are steamed. They got together and sent Iran a letter about the nuclear deal. They said if this doesn't work, by God, they're going to send Seth Rogen and James Franco.
 

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There's a new study that says giving your child too much praise can harm them later. They become more narcissistic. Narcissism is a condition of excessive self-interest that affects approximately one out of every one Kardashian.
 
Some Secret Service guys crashed a car into the White House. And they had been drinking when it happened. Actually, they hit a barrier trying to get to the White House. It's the same thing that is happening to Hillary.
 

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A polititian is late to the meeting. He drives his car inti parking, but couldn't find a place to park a car. Then he raises his eyes to heaven and asks God:

-Please help me to find a place. If you help me, I promise I'll go to church every Sunday and quit drinking.

Then, sudenlly, he notice a free place for a car. He raises again his eyes to heaven:

-I have found by myself and don't need your help anymore...

 

Little Caesars is about to deliver a bacon-wrapped deep dish pizza. It's a pizza with three and a half feet of bacon wrapped around it. I think we've reached a point as Americans where normal pizza has become too healthy for us.

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