Humour - page 217
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On the subject of Stonehenge, I saw this one
http://p0pik0ff.livejournal.com/192134.html
... и, короче, заканчивают уже подключать, и один монтажник говорит: "Только не забудьте сегодня оплатить, чтобы погасить доверительный платёж."
And I was like, "What if I don't pay?" They look at each other, and the installer sits across from me on a chair and says quietly:
- I didn't want to tell you, but one boy didn't want to pay either, so he decided to cheat and use his old account. And the internet was working fine, but it seemed to the boy that when he turned away from the laptop, someone horny was looking at him... And the boy got all torn up and lost weight. And exactly one month later, he casually glanced at the laptop and the one with the horns had not disappeared. He was staring at the boy in silence and was all black and yellow stripes. And then what happened, I don't know, but they didn't find the boy in the morning, and in his bed there was a thickened cable with a blood-stained connector, and his dad was clever, he understood and decided to switch to a different provider. And the cable heard it... Anyway, it's a very long story...
They get up, say a polite goodbye, leave.
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A mate of mine, a big two-metre man, was telling the story.
- I remembered from school that if you take the water bucket by the handle and twist it hard, not a drop of water will spill out. We had just bought a new kettle. So I decided to show the children a trick...
Further is the children's story:
- Dad called us into the kitchen. Sat us down. Poured water into the kettle. Swung it around and smashed it against the ceiling.
It's hard for VAZ in the Caucasus.
It's hard for VAZ in the Caucasus.
I have always wondered: what for?
Morons. It's always killed me... ... ...sports bollide, motherfucker... And the engine's still a baby's engine... piss... and you need a bucket-sized exhaust pipe to go with it...
To find out if the borscht has been salted, you just put two electrodes in it and then run a current through them. If you smell chlorine, the borscht has already been salted :) (С)
It's the same thing:
Q: How do you distinguish useful plants from weeds?
A: You have to pull them out of the ground. Useful plants come out easier.
Rules for good manners.
Don't embarrass your conversation partner with a simple, uncomplicated question:
- What were your impressions of the last book you read?
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A news item on Yandex was "Drunk motorcyclist and drunk passenger hit a drunken pedestrian"...
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