Humour - page 39

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Not exactly humour, but entertaining.

>
 

============ still as humour, though - who knows...

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Congratulations to the Russian national football team from the bottom of our hearts!

 

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Coming soon to TV screens!

 
 

With passion my blood was bubbling...
And a woman with a smile on her lips
Said she'd let me kiss her,
♪ but only in two places ♪
"Oh, men, holy simplicity!
He moved closer to the woman
And asked her to tell him where she wanted to be kissed.
She said... "Rome and Paris!"

1. Only occasionally do I rise from my diet.

2. I look good, but not often.
3. It's easier for men, their mothers-in-laws love them...
4. The lover is better, and he eats less often.
5. Come on, admit it: I'm not stubborn!
6. I'll forgive everything, but the fact that you're a budget man...
7. He's so silent that it makes me want to take off my clothes...
8. I am hopelessly and practically healthy...
9. He walks away like the sharpness in a lens...
10.I am in my third marriage. My husband is in his last.
11. I'm expensive, especially in clothes.
12. No, he didn't stutter before we were married...
13. No, you're not just stupid, you're floridly stupid!
14. As the years go by, I'm still in my thirties...
15. In his eyes I read: seven grades...
16. You and your extra weight are obstacles to happiness...
17. And what is my naivety bordering on...!
18. What money is this? It's change!
19. No need to argue: you married me!
20. Compare her temper and my bust! Mine is cooler!
21. No, I don't drink. Except maybe after the wedding...
22. You're right, I'm smart, but my fur coat is just right...
23. ♪ he's so shy... ♪ ♪ It's hard to resist... ♪
24. The truth isn't that dear to me!
25. Both my mother and the Ministry of Health warned me...
26. .... he measured love in horsepower...
27. He was silent - and I believed him...
28. If only you loved me like a beer!
29. Yes, there are many women, but more rivals...
30. Handsome as a god. But fed by a wolf!
31. You're a Centaur!... and vice versa!
32. If only he were an alcoholic, but he's also bald...
33. What did he mean when he promised to love?
34. He's like a god in bed: he doesn't snore!
35. Time heals, but the outcome is always fatal...
36. But when I married, I didn't close the door tightly...
37. The meaning of life from the kitchen looks different...
38. Fate, with gritted teeth, smiled...
39. How many intimate days are lived!...!
40. Don't mix business with dinner!
41. The men are in a line and past, past, past...
42. An exemplary family man. But not quite... roughly...
43. Love is needed like money: daily.
44. Excessive marriage is dangerous!
45. With a credit card, not only is life beautiful...
46. Oh how he laughed when he found out he wasn't the last one!
47. The figure grows more unconventional year after year...
48. He fell asleep without saying goodbye... I'm getting a divorce!
49. There aren't many like me: Only me...
50. There's everything in your eyes besides meaning.
51. You insulted not suddenly, but gradually.
52. Not to see you. Is that not happiness?
53. Well, have it your way: the snow is white and cold.
54. He's a bachelor, no other virtue.
55. He's a master in love, but a candidate in marriage.
56. He smiled sincerely, cynically.
57. I'm not expecting an affair from you. Just a proposal.
58. Try the soup, don't be afraid, there's medicine!
 

And men's parodies of women's odes:

To seduce you I did not undress...
I'm not in agony. I'm not at all...
Get out, you rascal! And come back with Viagra.
I won't forgive myself for forgiving you...
I love you unselfishly, but not so much...
I won't give it back since I didn't take it.
Say "I love you" and I'll give you a hangover...
Tomorrow I have an orgasm and a meeting with my sweetheart...
Wait! Stay down, I'm not your...
What kind of hacker am I? Not a hacker, a blonde.
Sex at our age is clenched and hands off...
I'm in my third marriage. Again I've been caught in a marriage...
A man's stingy tears flooded my pillow...
As a lady to a woman I say to you...
Whispering to myself in confidence...
There's too many of us here - you, me and the gonococci....
Husband's on a fishing trip... I hope he doesn't get the clap.
I'm in... with both hands... he won't.
Oh, who am I sleeping with? You can only sleep with him.
I'm going into politics. I don't have to wash my hands there...
I'm afraid I suffer from poetry...
You are my object of desire. Kill...
Fall in love how? I know karate...
I don't even dream of sex without you...
There are many of you, I'm alone. Anybody, come in...
What? A loyalty belt? Well, okay... And a muzzle?
I'm not pretty, of course... But with a bottle...
Don't squeal like that! I'm coming.
He snores so much... I can't wait to fall asleep...
As the years go by, I'll realize what I wrote...

 
 

The Large Hadron Collider has formed a black hole in which money is disappearing

The hole formed immediately after the start of the collider and gradually began to grow. First the hole absorbed scientists' money, then the money of the European Union. Germany dumped over 110 billion euros into the hole under the guise of financial aid to Greece. This fact has so far been concealed, but now the moment has come when one cannot keep silent any longer - the Greeks at least promise to pay back the debts, while the hole in the collider silently continues sucking up the fabulous funds. If this continues, the collider will be kicked out of the European Union. Russia has made an offer to host the collider, as it already has a long history of throwing money into black holes.

 
 
solar:

The Large Hadron Collider has formed a black hole in which money is disappearing

The hole formed immediately after the start of the collider and gradually began to grow. First the hole absorbed scientists' money, then the money of the European Union. Germany dumped over 110 billion euros into the hole under the guise of financial aid to Greece. This fact has so far been concealed, but now the moment has come when one cannot keep silent any longer - the Greeks at least promise to pay back the debts, while the hole in the collider silently continues sucking up the fabulous funds. If this continues, the collider will be kicked out of the European Union. Russia has made an offer to host the collider, as it already has a long track record of throwing money into black holes.

http://oko-planet.su/politik/politiklist/122610-greki-poteryavshie-rabotu-evrosoyuzu-nuzhen-stalin-chtoby-rasstrelyat-bandu-bankirov-spekulyantov.html
If you get bored reading the whole thing, you can read the paragraph HOW MUCH MONEY ARE THE GREECE? and - for development - it looks like the collapse of the USSR.

PS: I've been checking every country that has a revolution / tyrant president / too much debt, etc. - for some time now.
for the presence of oil. Huge oil deposits in particular have been found in Greece
(for ~$9 trillion oil + gas- now these deposits are being demanded to be given up allegedly for debt) and... Syria.
Worst of all, Syria is at the crossroads of two very bad lines, as is Libya - the oil and China lines.

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