[Archive c 17.03.2008] Humour [Archive to 28.04.2012] - page 113
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Divorce. Two or three steps are possible, with a demonstrative slapping of the heels on the water while flying in the jump. The rest is a platform under the water. But beautifully shot :))
if you can do three steps, you can do four, and where four .... there is no limit to perfection.
http://news.yandex.ru/yandsearch?cl4url=www.novopol.ru%2F-venok-upavshiy-na-yanukovicha-ukraden-text85044.html
a pale half-circle smile, a half-forgotten breath,
half-noticed nod, half-noticed embrace,
half-weave of cotton legs, half-unbuttoned dress,
the weight of the body on one arm, the other body's heat elastic,
a blush on her cheek, her hands free,
blue-black pupils, frozen for a moment,
the impatient pokes, the unhurried movement
forward, in place and backward, beads of sweat on the neck,
a half-familiar scent, a ginger-musky note,
sweet saliva under the throat, half-tones and half-shadows,
half-back stiffness, half-knee stiffness,
a full-length spasm across the body and a faint voice near the ear:
"Do you want to go in one?"
Day. The street. Rush hour. The bus
A brother in a restaurant turns to the waiter:
- Hey, bring me some salt!
- What kind do you want?
- Do they have different kinds?
- Yeah, there's 'what's-her-fuck' and 'what's-her-fuck'.
- Hmm. Let's get them both, let's sort it out.
The waiter brings two salt shakers. Bro takes one, flips it over, shakes it... not a grain falls out. Bro:
- What the fuck!
Takes another one, turns it upside down, salt cap falls off and all the salt falls out to a plate. Dawg:
- Holy shit... .
The story took place about five years ago and is absolutely true.
A certain firm bought high-precision, high-tech equipment in England, with electronic brains that could be tested and adjusted via modem.
They paid an advance, agreed upon a payment schedule and started making dough with this equipment.
But business is tough and there is no money for another payment and the machine is fucking dead. So we call England and say so.
They reply: let's have a look at it by modem, and by the way, don't forget about the payment...
The machine starts working, but just for a week. From there on it hangs up again.
Our - well known - installer thinks that the machine freezes due to the lack of payment.
and the British put a deadline via modem for a certain date.
Our people did what - they set the current date a hundred years earlier and the machine started working with great pleasure.
A week later, the Brits call us and ask: is everything OK? Our guys say: yes, everything is OK.
They evidently do not understand what they are saying and ask to look into the brain of the plant via modem.
We say not to worry, everything is fine...
These people are invincible! But of course they were paid.
Playing games in a drunken company
Игры в подвыпившей компании
Whoever is fastest to put their cards on the table and shout: "Montana!" wins.
Everyone throws their cards on the table and yells, "Montana! Montana!" Then I pause, put my cards on the table and announce: "And I have the Royal Montana."
===
Good morning, Vietnam.