Traders joking, the beginning - page 541

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Dear Santa,

I've written you for three years now asking for a fire truck. Please, I really really want a fire truck this year!

Love,

Joey

Dear Joey,

Let me make it up to you. While you sleep, I'm gonna torch your house. You'll have more fire trucks than you'll know what to do with.

Santa

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A new study says that chimpanzees occasionally drink too much fermented palm sap, which causes them to act drunk. Researchers could tell the chimps were drunk when one of them suggested karaoke.
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President Clinton and his wife are at the first baseball game of the season. At the start of the game the pitcher comes up in the stands and whispers something in Clinton’s ear.

All of a sudden Clinton looks at Hillary and yells, Okay, Hillary, GET OUT!. She looks surprised but leaves.

The pitcher looks at Clinton and says, No, I said to throw out the first PITCH!

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Guy walks into a bar and orders a double scotch. Gulps it down in one drink and peeks into his shirt pocket. Orders another double scotch. Tosses it back and peeks into his shirt pocket. This process is repeated numerous times and finally after about ten the bartender asks the guy…

“Buddy..Can I ask you a question?”

Guy looks at him through bleary eyes and says sure.

Bartender says… “What’s the deal? You’ve knocked back about a half a bottle of scotch and after every drink you look in your shirt pocket and order another. What’s in the pocket?”

Guy says “Picture of my wife… and just as soon as she starts looking good… I’m heading home.”

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Ida Mae passed away and Bubba called 911.

The 911 operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away.

“Where do you live?” asked the operator.

Bubba replied, “At the end of Eucalyptus Drive.”

The operator asked, “Can you spell that for me?”

After a long pause, Bubba said, “How ’bout I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up there?”

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