[Archive c 17.03.2008] Humour [Archive to 28.04.2012] - page 24
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Not at all. You just need to know the limits of the application. And I haven't calculated the limits in about 20 years. They're only calculated when you're desperate :o)
just so we don't kill the thread altogether, here goes:
Once upon a time, when I worked as a 1C programmer in a large St. Petersburg office, an amazing embarrassment happened to me. It had to do with server racks, or rather cabinets. The thing is, I worked not only as a programmer, but also as an administrator, i.e. I was such a specially trained person, who configured there all sorts of terminals, routers, clusters, and other computer ##etu. Any admin and programmer who is dealing with all this stuff always comes to a point when all this pile of hardware on your desk gets ####eny, also gets ###enyed by your bosses who are saving on IT, get##enyed by users and then you take a piece of paper and write there in your thick hand "I resign from the company at my own request".
That's when your bosses look at you with respect, give you money for new equipment and an assistant. And you agree to keep working, because it's very interesting, and you don't need anything but the hardware, just to be around it all your life. Yes, I used to be like that, and even now I am like that, whoever it is, any piece of metal arouses almost sexual interest.
I ordered new servers, switches, and a rack cabinet for the case, with a fridge to keep everything running. Everything was delivered and I went to work. All day long I was there crossing something, shoving servers in and out, setting up and breaking down, installing and tearing down, all in all, the real admin hardcore.
And then one day, when I was once again pulling everything out of the wardrobe (which had already become like family to me) in order to take out another end of the twisted pair, and the embarrassment happened. I climbed into the cupboard, and it ##oras slammed shut.
I first laughed inside, then I laughed even harder, then I got scared. It's one o'clock in the morning, no one's in the office, it's ten degrees in the wardrobe and you can't open it from inside. I was really scared. Really scared. But then I found the strength to pull myself together and fight for my life. I didn't want that in the morning our staff would find the stiffened corpse of an administrator instead of servers in a cupboard.
No, of course I could have opened the glass door and climbed out, but when I remembered how much that cabinet cost, I decided to choose death over life-long slavery. And I got a little discouraged. I tried to make a phone call - the phone in the cupboard did not pick up, I thought of lighting a cigarette to set off the fire alarm, but it only made the whole cupboard go up in smoke. Tried unscrewing the lock - ####. After a lot of thought, I started shouting, but it was impossible to reach the guard from the cupboard and from the third floor.
Then my gaze fell to the floor of the wardrobe. There was a rectangular hole for the wires. It was impossible to get out of it, but it was possible to stick my legs through it. I did so. Then I grabbed the walls, lifted the cupboard (it was so fucking heavy!) and walked around the office, kicking and screaming. It did not work very well, but I managed to cut the power by pulling the cord out of the socket. It got warmer. So I decided to wait for the morning.
Anyone who thinks you can sleep in a server cupboard is sorely mistaken. It's uncomfortable, you can only stand, you can't sit down and there's all sorts of ###themes poking at you from all sides. So I made that legendary volitional decision to go to the guard in the wardrobe to get him to open me. Meter by meter to the lift.
I managed to get the lift, as there was only one call button. I just pressed the wardrobe up against it. I even managed, after practicing it for the fifth time, to get into the lift. But I couldn't get out. Because there's a fuckload of buttons in the lift. The doors closed, the lights went out and there was a total and irrevocable fuck-up.
And in the morning, our CEO, who arrives earlier than anyone else, found a wardrobe in the lift, standing with its back to the exit, and when the security guard pulled the wardrobe out of the lift, there was me too. Laughing, satisfied and sleep-deprived.
I had been playing Tetris on my phone, standing in the server cabinet, in the lift, for seven (!!!) hours straight. I almost lost my mind at the time. But the imprint, of course, remained.
:||||:
- на что жалуетесь?!
- "trade"...
- How often does that happen to you?
- around the clock, though...
Old analyst to young analyst:
If you don't know what to say, say the current trend will continue.
The stock exchange is a long-range weapon... You can't even see who's ripping you off.
Equis has released a lubricant for large-period moving averages.
MAs with a period of more than 100 now glide much better.
According to the firm's management, the release of greases for smaller period sliding averages is planned for mid to late 2010.
The company's stock jumped six points.
- You have no idea, Seryoga, how hard it is to close a profitable position!
- Tell me about it, it's practically impossible.
A new trader gets a job in a financial company. During interview he is asked:
- Why were you fired from your previous job?
- For health reasons.
- What were you ill with?
- It was my boss who was sick, not me. Every time he saw the results of my work he got sick. It couldn't go on
it couldn't last, one of us had to go.
Two traders were going on a balloon trip. Suddenly there was a strong wind,
and the buddies went off course.
When they descended to a height of 20 metres, they saw a man below:
- Hey, buddy, tell me, where are we?
- You're in a hot air balloon 20 metres above the ground.
- The answer is perfectly accurate and completely useless. Looks like we've met a stock analyst?!
- Yes. And you must be traders, you never know where you are.
Ага, Фихтен был моим любимым учебником начиная с 9-го класса... нет, с 10-го.
I read: "Yeah, Fichten has been my favourite student since 9th grade... no, 10th."
Almost fell out of my chair... :)
to Mathemat
No need to get frustrated. Mathematica (I have 6.0) doesn't take limits. By the way, it's the best product, if you need to work with limits, series, integrals, diphurs - I take this thing. I recommend it! :о)
+100 )Farnsworth >> Mathematica (у меня 6.0) не берет предел.
Well thank goodness for that. At least one sensible package exists...
Ну слава тебе, Господи. Хоть один разумный пакет существует...
What are you! There is the best (in terms of reasonableness) package of the most diverse applications, called - Mathemat:o)))))))))
PS: By the way, you got it wrong in the beginning too :o)
A quickly lifted cigarette does not count as a fallen cigarette:)
This is where I got my answer.